A Death in the NYPD Crime Lab
by JOVANKA
Summary: wHEN ADAM FINDS JO'S BODY SLUMPPED OVER STELLA'S DESK WHAT ELSE CAN MAC DO BUT CALL IN A CERTAIN NEW ORLEANS LAB BOSS IN TO HELP?


**A Death in the NYPD Crime Lab.**

**Legal Stuff: - Not mine or things would be soooooooooooo much different and it would be a case of Jo who?**

**A/N: - Alright this idea came to me by reading a forum topic on the official CBS website the poster had said that he/she thought more than likely this would be the last ever season of CSI: NY (alas I find myself agreeing 100%) and if that was to be the case what would we like to see happen in the final episode two things sprang to my mind instantly Smacked and the demise of Jo Danville. If anybody does like the character I'm giving you in advance warning this is definitely an anti-Jo fic but if you wish to continue reading then you are more than welcome to do so and yes I probably need some quality time on a couch somewhere discussing my childhood. I don't want any actual harm to come to SW though just for her character to leave CI: NY never to return and to have our Stella back. This is me venting my anger and disgust at TPTB at letting MK go and so I'm dedicating it to my fellow long suffering Smacked fans hopefully this will raise a few smiles amongst you all if nothing else think of it as a guilty pleasure or as an antidote to all the Jo second-best Danville is the saviour of CSI: NY rubbish we've heard none stop for months. Keep the faith Stella Bonasera maybe gone but she's not and never will be forgotten! SOS SAVE OUR SMACKED!**

"Good morning my love" Mac Taylor picked up the silver framed photograph off of his desk and placed a soft, warm kiss on it's cool glassy surface "I wish you would come back to me Stel I miss you so much" He sighed forlornly.

"Still smooching that photo of Stella first thing in the morning I see Mac?" Don Flack entered Mac's office a pile of paperwork in his hands.

"I don't know what you're talking about Don" Mac turned crimson "I was just tiding up my desk."

"Sure you where Mac that's why there are lip marks all over that thing" Don nodded to the photograph the lab boss was holding.

"So it needs dusting big deal" Mac ran a sleeve over the glass for show and replaced it in its special spot on his desk "Anyway you've no room to talk what about that photo of Jess you keep in your wallet it's going soggy."

"It's not going soggy! I have a damp problem at my place is all" Flack huffed.

"Of course you do Flack and I was just dusting in here wasn't I?" Mac raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't see anything you didn't see anything deal" Flack offered.

"Blind as a bat that's me" Mac smiled a satisfied smiled.

Flack muttered under his breath "Please god let Bonasera come back soon before one of us ends up sectioned."

"What did you say" Mac asked mystified.

"Err….. I've come to get your authorisation on the Book seller poisoned confectionary report" Flack improvised "Death by chocolate drops who knew that could happen huh?"

"Really? I don't recall that one" Mac shrugged "I could have sworn you mentioned Stella."

Flack opened his mouth to zing back one of his trademark sharp retorts but before he could say a single word Mac's office door flew wide open and hit him straight in the rear end "Aagh"He shrieked as a door handle connected with one of the more sensitive areas of his body.

"Oh gosh I'm so sorry Flack I didn't know anyone was standing there…" Adam hurriedly apologised.

"What is it Adam" Mac did his best not to snigger and failed miserably.

"I thought you should know there is um ….. a problem with Jo" Adam told him fearfully.

"There is always a problem with Jo can you be more specific" Mac asked after all she wasn't no Stella Bonasera now was she?

"Well I suppose you could say it's a grave problem" Adam replied.

"If the women's room toilets are blocked up again I already told her there are some places that even an ex-marine does not go just tell her to phone for a plumber that's what Stella always does….I mean did" Mac rubbed his head tiredly.

"Nobody ever got hit in the ass when Stella was here either" Flack grunted rubbing his sore behind.

"No it's not that" Adam shook his head.

"I've told her about a million times this is my lab and everyone does what I say, Stella always kept the keys to the stationary cupboard in the left draw of her desk so that's where they are staying. In fact whatever it is she's complaining about just give her Stella's cell phone number it will probably be quicker that way" Mac instructed his lab tech.

"Geez this place is really falling apart without Stella" Flack mumbled still rubbing himself.

"Tell me about it" Adam whispered.

"I better not have bruising Ross" Flack grumbled.

"Adam just tell Jo that I'm busy if she'd like an appointment I maybe free a week on Thursday…" Mac began flicking through his desk diary.

"That's kind of the problem boss…..I can't tell Jo anything….. I think that maybe she's well sort of dead" Adam grimaced "Please don't hurt me."

"Are you sure this time?" Flack stopped his rubbing "This is not another Elvis is alive and well living with your Auntie June in Newark type situation is it?"

"Look it was Elvis I tell you he even had the rhinestone suite and everything" Adam huffed and pulled out his cell phone "See I've got pictures to prove it."

"Can we please get back to the Jo is dead bit" Mac demanded.

"Oh….right sorry I forget she's in Stel….I mean her office and she is definitely a goner" Adam nodded.

"Ok Adam show us but if this is another one of your geeky panic ridden flights of fantasy so help me you're a dead man walking" Mac growled and marched out of his office Flack in tow.

When the three men entered what was once Stella Bonasera's office they found a certain Ms Danville sprawled out over the desk her eyes shut.

"She could be napping I suppose" Mac suggested doubtfully.

"I don't know Mac seems like she's toast to me" gingerly Flack picked up her arm with two fingers and all three men watched transfixed as it flopped back down "Yep like Adam said she's a goner."

"I told you so" Adam pouted "Why does no-one ever believe me?"

"It's usually quicker" Mac shrugged "Anywhat what we really need here is a sound medical opinion Adam go fetch Hawkes will you."

"You sure you want Hawkes then" Adam queried.

"Well no but he's the best we've got" Flack quipped unable to resist temptation.

Adam dutifully scuttled off and five minutes later returned with Hawkes, Lindsay and Danny who had basically come to gawp.

"So it's true she's really bitten the dust then" Danny stared open mouthed.

"Let me be the judge of that" Hawkes strolled over to the body and began to do medical type checks.

"Why don't you just use a mirror" Lindsay put in.

"Who's got the MD around here Linds?" Hawkes snorted then thoughtfully rummaged in the filing cabinet next to the desk and produced a vanity mirror "Good old Stel she's better than the boy scouts" he beamed and placed the mirror under Danville's head "No misting means no breath yep she's definitely pushing up daisies Mac" He declared.

"Right everyone out this is a crime scene and I'm sealing it off" Mac ordered "I'm gonna call Sinclair we need cops and CSIs in here definitely CSIs."

"We are cops and CSIs remember" Lindsay pointed out "Shouldn't we be investigating this?"

"Yes but we need outside help it's a conflict of interest otherwise" Mac told her gleefully as he ushered everybody out of the room and closed the door behind them.

"It never bothered you before when Jess and Aiden were killed" Danny said innocently.

"Well it does now I'm playing it by the book I'm going to call in the head of another lab to process the scene everybody wait in the conference room for me whilst I notify Sinclair and make the arrangements" Mac commanded then practically galloped back to his office his hands in his pocket happily whistling some guys have all the luck to himself.

"Ok what are the odds that he insists the boss of the New Orleans Lab be the one to help us out" Flack rolled his eyes as the team made their way into the conference room.

"That Donny boy is what you call a no brainer" Danny chuckled.

"I think it's kind of romantic" Lindsay grinned as the group entered the room "Besides I can't wait to see Stella."

"It is kinda sweet lets hope he finally gets up the nerve to tell Stella how he really feels about her then everything can get back to normal around here" Hawkes agreed as the team took their customary seats "Did you know there wasn't even a grain of coffee in the break room this morning."

"I haven't seen a single donut in six months" Adam sighed "Not so much as a crumb not since Jo arrived."

"There is only so many bananas a guy can take it's just not natural cops without donuts" Flack lamented.

"I never realised just how much work Stella did around here before" Danny chimed in.

"What exactly does Mac do all day then?" Lindsey wondered out loud.

"I delegate if you must know" Mac appeared in the doorway a big plastered grin all over his handsome features and walked over to his seat "It's the fine art of management."

"In other words Stella does…did all the work and you signed stuff" Flack noted as Mac sat down.

"Like I said I delegate" Mac chortled.

"Talking of words what did Sinclair have to say?" Hawkes wanted to know.

"He agreed with me we need outside help in fact he's going to send a helicopter for Stel….I mean the lab boss to get here immediately if not sooner" Mac beamed.

"I thought we couldn't hire choppers anymore because of the budget restraints" Lindsay quizzed him.

"Special circumstances have arisen I said we would find the money Stel….I mean Jo deserves it" Mac shrugged "Besides we can all manage without a few little luxuries for the next few months heating, lighting that sort of thing."

"It's the middle of October" Somebody possibly Hawkes complained.

"Then bring a thick coat in" Somebody definitely Mac snorted.

"So Mac" Flack smirked "Care to tell us who is coming to process the scene?"

"I told you another lab boss" Mac replied.

"Which lab? Vegas? Miami or New Jersey perhaps" Flack continued his line of questioning.

"I…er no they are all busy and there is a flu epidemic" Mac nervously played with his collar.

"Really? I spoke to Dr Ray about the Parker Case last night he didn't mention anything in fact he said the Vegas lab was so quiet Catherine Willows had organized a Pinochle championship" Flack cheerily informed the mortified lab boss.

"Well I didn't want some stranger poking about my lab I thought that we should have someone we all now and like, someone who is fair and will be on our side when it comes to IA not to mention Sinclair…" Mac squirmed "Someone who…."

"Looks cute in that little green top with the zippers yeah we now" Flack finished off for him and burst out laughing followed by everybody else in the room.

"It's ok Mac we all miss Stella too and can't wait to see her either" Lindsay reassured him through tears of laughter.

"Absolutely this place just hasn't been right without our Stel" Hawkes concurred.

"Any chance we can convince her to stay permanently" Danny asked hopefully.

"I'm working in on it Danny I'm working on it" Mac assured him "Lets hope Jo's demise was natural causes though anything else and it's going to look damn awkward on all our résumé's How the heck are we going to explain a murder in the middle of our own lab and nobody noticed?"

.

"What if the killer works here? Is in this room even" Adam shivered.

"You were the one who said she was creepy" Hawkes recalled "Not to mention the donut thing."

"And it was you that found her" Lindsay added.

"So what? There's not a cop in the entire country who would willingly swap their donut for fruit if that's the only criteria for being the culprit you'd have to arrest the entire NYPD besides I just said what everybody else was thinking and I only went in there to ask for a day off. Anyway I wasn't the last person too see her alive I saw you Danny you went in there just after you arrived this morning" Adam sniffed.

"That's right I saw you too Adam and I were going over some DNA samples and you walked right by us" Hawkes confirmed.

"Just what you were doing in there all alone with her" Lindsay quizzed her husband suspiciously.

"I um…well I promised Stella I'd take care of little Mac" Danny admitted "She was worried about him."

"Who the heck is little Mac" Flack asked the question on everybody's lips.

"It's the cactus on Stel…I mean Jo's office window that's what Stella called it little Mac" Big Mac turned crimson yet again as he filled the rest of the team in.

"Why does Stella call it little Mac it nearly fills the entire window ledge up" Adam declared.

"It's a private joke that's all you need to know" Mac's cheek's burned bright red "What happened after that Danny."

"Nothing Jo came in just as I finished watering little…the cactus we exchanged hellos she said something about traffic being a mare this morning then I left she was fine I swear the end" Danny finished his story.

"Accusing each other isn't helping I think we should just sit tight till Stella gets here then we can resolve this situation properly" Lindsay announced.

"Yes your right" Mac nodded joyfully "Stella can fix everything just like always."

"Anyone for Pinochle then?" Flack produced a pack of playing cards from his pocket.

Some hours later Mac found himself standing on the lab roof's helipad waiting for Stella's ride to land safely, the little red and silver helicopter came to a stop and Mac dashed to open the door for her.

"Hey Stella" He greeted her bashfully.

"Hey yourself Mac" She grinned up at him.

"I've missed you so much" They chorused simultaneously.

"Here let me help you down" Mac held his arms out to assist Stella as she climbed out of the chopper gratefully she took his hands but her foot slipped and they ended up in a warm embrace.

"Mmmm I missed this too" Stella snuggled happily into him, Mac for his part said nothing he just enjoyed having her close to him once more, the smell of her perfume, her warm breath on his cheek, how her gorgeous body curved perfectly into his more muscular frame….sheer bliss!

"Alright you two break it up" Brigham Sinclair appeared out of nowhere and tapped Mac on the shoulder "You're here to work Detective Bonasera so I'm reinstating my no hugging rule during working hours until at least we establish what the heck happened to Danville."

"Danville who?" Mac asked mystified as he reluctantly parted company with Stella.

"You know Taylor the woman with the dark hair who you've just worked with for six months kinda creepy I thought" Sinclair described Jo.

"Oh her…. Must we? Oh I mean we must I suppose" He mumbled as he and Stella's gaze locked and they stared into each other's eyes both completely oblivious to anything or anyone else but each other.

"Yes I suppose we must" Stella moved away from Mac just as reluctantly as he had moved from her earlier "Why don't you show me the way Mac."

"Didn't you work here for over five years Detective Bonasera? In the same damn office might I add" Sinclair harrumphed.

"It's been six months we might have changed things" Mac defended his lady's honour.

"Well have you?" Sinclair asked.

"No actually we haven't" Mac admitted "But we could have."

"I need someone to …er hold my flashlight" Stella defended her guy's honour.

"And nobody else but Taylor can do that I suppose" Sinclair sighed in defeat.

"It's very sensitive isn't it Mac" Stella nudged him.

"What? Oh yes definitely sensitive" Mac nodded his complete agreement then took hold of her by the hand "C'mon Stel lets get to work"

Two minutes later Mac and Stella arrived outside her ex-office "Mac can I ask you something" Stella puzzled.

"Ah I guess you want to know why the traditional yellow police line don't cross tape is not yellow as such but pink and actually says I love Barbie on it don't you?" He guessed.

"Well you must admit it does seem a little strange" Stella smiled at him.

"See you normally order that stuff and apparently nobody else in the entire state of New York knows where it comes from there isn't a scrap left in the place all we could find was what Lindsay had over from wrapping Lucy's birthday gifts since you are here maybe you could order us a few hundred weight if you don't mind of course" Mac suggested casually "If you have the time that is."

"We'll see" Stella grinned and reached out to slice the tape in two with a Stanley knife as she did so five utterly overjoyed people screamed "Stella!" at the top of their voices and stampeded down the corridor surrounding the startled Greek CSI babbling all at once.

Stella did her best to distinguish between her friends.

"…There's not a single donut in the Lab can you believe it…." That was Adam.

"…..Bid tough ex-Marine type guy here kisses your photo everyday…" definitely Don Flack.

"….Lucy's got so big you won't recognize her…." Must be Lindsay.

"…I only forgot to water little Mac twice this month I swear…" Danny Messer pleaded.

"….. I've got a girlfriend at long last…." Yup Sheldon completed the quintet.

"Don't worry Stel I got it covered" Mac squeezed her hand affectionately then he produced a football referee's whistle from his pants pocket and blew down hard wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee! The corridor became blissfully silent "I know everyone wants to spend time with Stella and I mean this in the nicest possible way but all of you get lost" Mac was at his most commanding.

"Yes boss" The team chorused in unison and trailed off in their separate ways.

"Shall we" Mac indicated the newly de sealed office door to Stella.

"Yes I think we'd better before they all come back again" Stella took point and entered her former office.

For the next two hours Mac was in sheer heaven, Stella Bonasera was back here in New York wearing the little green top with the zippers processing a Crime scene life just didn't get any better than this he decided .He'd even gotten a glimpse of her tummy button once or twice when she'd moved if he didn't know better he'd swear he was the one who had died and gone to heaven. Mac would quite happily spend all eternity this way completely spellbound watching Stella do her stuff …..It was sheer poetry in motion.

"Well that's it I'm done here" Stella announced collecting her kit together much too soon for Mac's liking.

"Are you sure Stel? I mean you could dust the desk for finger prints again or re-examine little…the cactus for trace after all they say the fourth time is the charm and all….This is a member of my team we are talking about sort of anyway you can't be too careful….." Mac attempted to draw the process out as long as possible.

"I'm sure Mac why don't we go see Sid he should have finished the autopsy by now" Stella suggested.

"Can I carry your case for you" Mac offered hopefully.

"Yes Mac of course you can" Stella giggled hooking her arm through his "Let's go find Sid."

Twenty minutes later they arrived at the morgue why rush Mac decided wasn't as if he particularly wanted to let go of Stella's arm anytime soon was it? Besides it wasn't his fault if everyone they met wanted to say hi to Stella was it? The girl always was popular.

"Hey Sid" Stella greeted the ME cheerfully.

"Welcome home Stella" Sid hollered then pushing a startled Mac out of the way he pulled an even more startled Stella into a bear hug.

Silently Mac counted backwards to ten then he elbowed Sid in the ribs "Alright that's enough Hammerback put her down Sinclair has instigated the no hugging rule again" besides if there was any Stella hugging to be done around here that was Mac's job and his alone the lab boss decided.

"Yes Mac" Sid replied meekly massaging his chest "I'm glad your both here there is something I need to show about Jo Danville…..see" with a well practiced flourish he drew back the sheet covering her newly autopsied remains.

"I wasn't expecting that" Mac was astonished.

"Well I guess we can definitely rule out foul play then" Stella stared open mouthed.

"I've never seen anything like this before either" Sid agreed.

Mac and Stella watched as one by one Flack, Hawkes, Adam, Danny and Lindsay entered the conference room and took their seats for the second time that day.

"Ok so now everyone's here I have an announcement to make….." Mac began.

"That was quick is it a boy or girl Stel?" Flack chuckled.

"Flack!" Six people groaned in unison and Hawkes clipped him across the back of the head Leroy Jethro Gibbs style.

"When you're quite finished" Mac drummed his fingers on the table in annoyance.

"Whenever your ready boss" Hawkes confirmed.

"Sid found something out about Jo when he did the autopsy" Mac stated plainly.

"She's really a he" guessed Danny.

"That would explain an awful lot" Lindsay nodded.

"No it's not that…." Stella stepped in then paused to think for a moment "…..Really Linds like what do tell all."

"Well…." Mrs Messer began to say.

"She's pregnant" Adam blurted out.

"Yeah he's right it's got to be that whenever a woman of child bearing age bite's the dust and an ME finds something then she's knocked up I should know I never miss Law and Order SVU" Hawkes confirmed.

"Yes I remember when you stayed at my place but I still prefer Criminal Intent myself" Mac recalled thinking back to those the long Stellaless nights he'd spent with Hawkes debating who was best Logan or Stabler "Anyway I think it's easier to show you all Stella if you'd be so kind."

"Brace yourself Adam" Stella warned the young tech as she deftly pulled a sheet off of the object sitting in the centre of the conference room table Derren Brown had nothing on her she grinned to herself.

A circle of gasps went around the table one after the other "Geeze Louise" "Son of a…." "Language Daniel" "See told you I was getting better at CSI stuff I didn't faint this time did I?" "It's a robot; Jo Danville is or was a robot" Hawkes finished off staring at the wires dangling from Jo's head which had been disconnected from her body.

"She's a Flexi-corps 2010 series cybernetic life form actually" Adam informed the team.

"Yes you would know stuff like that" Flack shuddered "Does anyone else think a Jobot is kinda well weird?"

"There's no kinda about it if you ask me" Lindsay shuddered too.

"Adam where you would get something like that" Mac wanted to know "It's not like you would find one down at the local Wall-Mart is it? Or would you?"

"Ahem…well I got…..I mean my friend Alan got his online there is this web site see….." Adam flushed bright red.

"Oh yes?" Mac eyed him up suspiciously "What kind of web site Adam? Or to put it another way should I expect another visit from vice squad?"

"No I….Alan says it's not like that ok so it can be like that but not always" Adam squeaked out "It's like an online Build a Bear Workshop for grownups all you do is pick out what you want your 2010 series to look like green eyes, curly hair and olive skinned for example if you have a photo you can send that to them or there is whole pages online you can chose from, you pick a name then they send you your purchase ten days later free postage and packaging leastways that's what Alan says."

"Amazon for the perverted" Flack snorted.

"I keep telling you it doesn't have to be that way, there are other uses for the 2010's besides that sort of thing housework, babysitting, dance lessons….." He listed.

"Seduction, striptease, S &M …." Flack counter listed.

"What made that particular 2010 stop working" Stella pointed to the head.

"My guess would be somebody forgot to charge her….it up" Adam answered "It's just like a cell phone after a few days the battery runs down and off it goes until it's recharged."

"Then all we need is a charger we can plug her in and ask her what the heck is going on" Hawkes proposed.

"Well it worked in Alien 3" Mac nodded his agreement "Ok we round up every charger in the lab one of them as got to work by the law of averages."

"While you all do that I'll go order that tape you wanted Mac" Stella offered.

"Er….Stel any chance of gaining new coffee supplies whilst you at it" Hawkes requested.

"And donuts….lots of donuts" Adam pleaded.

"The toilets in the ladies room are blocked again" Lindsay piped up.

"Little Mac has really missed you special type of tlc" Danny added to the list.

"If you want you could use your old office I guess Jo won't be needing it anymore and I'll sign anything you want" Mac pleaded "I'm not proud."

"Alright for old time's sake" Stella agreed that and because Mac Taylor was adorable when he begged she decided "I'll go get started."

Half an hour later Stella returned to the conference room to find the table covered in cell phone chargers and each member of the team taking it in turns to try and plug his or her charger into the back of Jo's head.

"What news" enquired Mac.

"Emergency supplies of tape are on there way from the Jersey lab as we speak, Coffee should be delivered first thing in the morning and yes Adam donuts are in the break room waiting for you" Stella replied.

"Actually I meant on the case" Mac told her sheepishly.

"Oh I see I found the website Adam….I mean Alan visited and I found out this particular 2010 was orderd by the Peybry Corporation six months ago" Stella revealed.

"Conveniently isn't that exactly the same time you got whisked off to New Orleans" Mac asked a suspicion forming in his mind.

"The same day to be exact and I can't find any trace of the Peybry Corporation registered anywhere even the delivery address they gave was fake" Stella confirmed.

"The plot thickens we really need to get that head working" Mac nodded and picked up a charger.

Several chargers later the team finally found a charger that actually fit and Adam plugged the head in causing the eyelids to slowly open but then nothing and still nothing ten minutes later.

"Ok I'm no expert but shouldn't something …..anything be happening" Danny piped up.

"Yes it should" Adam confirmed "I don't understand it."

"Oh I know" Flack smacked the head smartly on the cranium "There that oughta do the trick."

"Flack maybe you should leave the technical stuff to me in future" Adam advised.

"Just wait a minute you'll see" Flack folded his arms across his chest confidently then steam began to pour from the head's ears, it's eyes rolled around like a fruit machine and it's hair stood on end "See I told you my cell phone's just the same" Flack grinned triumphantly.

" 210reboot in progress donot disconnect" The head's lips moved slightly out of sync with its R2 D2 sounding voice " Reboot in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 reboot is now complete commence day modeHey guys what's going on" The head greeted the team cheerfully.

"We were hoping you could tell us" Stella stepped forward.

"Danger, danger subject Stella Bonasera detected initiate emergency procedure" Jo's eyes began to glow red "Exterminate Bonasera, exterminate Bonasera…"

"Stel get down" Mac yelped and pushed her down to the floor and under the table.

"Exterminate Bonasera, exterminate Bonasera….." The head continued and the rest of the team joined them under the table as red laser beams began shooting all around the room.

"I think we can safely assume it doesn't like you Stel" Hawkes proclaimed "And that the Jobot's watched far too much Dr Who."

"You don't say? I never would have guessed" Flack replied archly.

"How do we get it to stop before it kills someone or somebody needs the bathroom" Lindsey asked the obvious question.

"Unplug it" Danny suggested.

"How do we get to the plug without being Kentucky fried first" Flack rolled his eyes.

"There must be away though" Lindsay said "Adam did your I mean Alan's 2010 have an off switch at all."

"It does….." Adam started.

"So turn the damn thing off then" Hawkes winced as a laser beam singed his hair.

"On its butt" He finished.

"What a remarkably stupid place to put it" groaned Flack "Mac, Stel this is where you two normally come up with a cunning plan isn't it? Mac….Stel what are you two doing over there?"

Mac was lying almost on top of Stella a dopey grin on his face and had his arms snugly around her body pulling her within easy kissability distance, Stella for her part had her arms around Mac's neck and looked just as dopey as he did, to the beleaguered Detective Flack and company it appeared they where about to make out.

"I'm um….. protecting Stella" Mac mumbled.

"I'm protecting Mac" Stella mumbled too.

"Do you two think you could stop protecting each other and start protecting us" Flack grumbled as a flash of red lightening hit his boots living a small smoking hole "After all you are supposed to be in charge around here aren't you?"

"Well it's not like I can order it to stop shooting at us is it Flack" Mac raised his voice as he once again let go of Stella.

"Yes Master" Jo's voice said sweetly from above and everything stopped.

"How the heck did you do that" Hawkes asked astonished.

"Search me….I wonder if…" Mac poked his head out from under the table "Jo why did you just do all that stuff?"

"Subject identified as Stella Bonasera unit's primary mission is to destroy Stella Bonasera on sight so emergency protocol automatically activated" Jo answered.

"Flack you try asking her a question" Mac stroked his chin thoughtfully.

"Jo what day is it" Flack did as Mac asked.

"Error you do not have correct access level am unable to comply" Jo told him.

"Linds you try" Mac picked Mrs Messer next.

"Jo who is the President of the USA" Lindsay obeyed orders.

"Error you do not have correct access level am unable to comply" Jo repeated her earlier statement.

"Jo do I have the correct access level at all" Mac spoke himself this time.

"Subject identified as Mac Taylor possessor of highest level XXX access supreme master of 2010 unit" Jo confirmed "You wish is my command."

"That's good to hear" Mac sighed in relief and climbed out from his hiding place "Right then listen up Jo I'm changing your primary mission at all costs Stella Bonasera must be protected, under no circumstances must she be exterminated is that understood? Not now, not ever, now way no how she's the most important person in this or any other universe in fact she also as highest level XXX access of 2010 unit too capiche? Her wish is also your command."

"Awe Mac that's so sweet" Stella called to him from beneath the table.

.

"Yes master initiating update to programming" Jo whizzed and pinged for a while "Update complete."

"Stella ask it something" Mac told her.

"Jo why is little Mac called little Mac" Stella asked cheekily.

"Anything but that" Mac choked.

"Little Mac reminds Mistress of…." Jo began.

"Alright that's enough of that" Mac jumped in quickly "I think it's safe for you all to come out now Stella you better come out last though just to be sure."

Gingerly the rest of the team emerged from beneath the table "Well that was different" Flack muttered taking his seat "Somebody really hates your guts Stel."

"Yes I think I know who too" Stella shared a look with Mac.

"It might not be them" Mac said completely unconvinced by his own words "Too be honest I'm not sure they are smart enough for something like this."

"They're not they forgot to recharge the Jobot didn't they?" Stella reminded him.

"That does sound them" Mac admitted.

"Lets find out though for sure" Stella insisted.

"Jo who sent you here to my Lab?" Mac capitulated.

"Peyton Driscoll and Aubrey Hunter" Jo replied.

"The Peybry Corporation didn't have to think too much about that one did they" Flack shook his head.

"Did they arrange for me to be sent too New Orleans also Jo" Stella interrogated her.

"Yes Mistress" Jo answered her query "Operation destroy Smacked phase 1 send Bonasera as far as way as possible from Taylor and keep her there at all costs."

"Phase2 was presumably to send you here" Mac concluded.

"Yes Master, Phase2 was initiated to observe Mac Taylor, serve and obey Mac Taylor's every order and destroy Stella Bonasera if she ever returned thereby preventing Mac Taylor acquiring new girlfriend/love interest/wife and enabling marriage to Peyton Driscoll or Aubrey Hunter" Jo stated her orders "Lethal force authorised."

"I said she was creepy didn't I" Adam pointed to Jo.

"It does explain everything though doesn't it" Danny put in "I mean Stella vanishes practically over night then Jo appears lets face it she wasn't even all that good at sciency stuff."

"I just have one more question" Mac spoke up "Jo why did Peyton and Aubrey do this? Send Stella away and you here?"

"Because Mac Taylor loves Stella Bonasera and she loves Mac Taylor if Bonasera is gone then he is destroyed and available" Jo told him what he wanted to hear.

"I suppose it's true what they say hell hath no fury like two women scorned" Hawkes rubbed his hands together.

"Is that true Mac? Do you love me?" Stella said softly.

"Do you love me Stel?" Mac asked tenderly.

"Ok this is our cue to leave before it gets all too As the Lab Turns in here" Flack switched off the Jobot's head and headed for the exit.

"Too right" Hawkes followed him out of the conference room.

"Whatever happens just think of the donuts guys" Adam advised as he Lindsay and Danny took their leave.

"So Stel" Mac nervously tucked a stray curl behind her ear.

"So Mac" She shyly echoed back.

Mac took a deep breath and managed to find his voice "I…..I it's true what the Jobot said it's true I love you Stel I always have and I always will. Your all I ever wanted or needed in this world and I hate that your there and I'm here please will you come home? The team needs you, the lab needs you and most importantly I need you! Nothing is right without you here and won't be till you return."

"Why didn't you ever say anything before" Stella wondered stroking his cheek gently "When I said I was leaving you were supposed to ask me to stay dummy."

"I sort of though it was implied all that hugging and all" Mac murmured "I'm so sorry Stella."

"I love you too" Stella admitted "You're my dummy and I love you."

Identical goofy grins spread across their faces "Sinclair never said anything about no kissing during office hours did he" enquired Mac.

"Nope not a word" Stella agreed wholeheartedly.

"In that case…." Mac placed a warm, tender love filled kiss on her lips, Stella nipped on his bottom lip and used her to tongue to duel with his as the New York Crime lab's newest (official that is) couple did their darnest to deepen their first kiss.

Don Flack hummed happily to himself as he headed towards Mac's no Stella and Mac's office to get his morning reports signed passing by the break room he noticed it was piled high with donuts of every description yum yums, ring donuts, glazed and even cinnamon, in the middle of the boxes sat Adam contentedly devouring the biggest raspberry jelly donut he'd ever seen. Further along he spotted Danny, Lindsay and little Lucy happily building castles with empty police tape cartons in a now over flowing stockroom and as he reached the Taylor's office Hawkes waiting outside cradling a steaming mug of coffee the office door shut and the blinds closed tight.

"Not again" Flack mock complained to Hawkes.

"Well they are newly weds what do you expect" Hawkes chuckled "New nameplate looks good on the door though doesn't it?"

"Sure does" Flack laughed and using his elbow buffed the brass sign that said Detective's Macanna B. Taylor Jr and Stella Bonasera-Taylor joint Laboratory managers next to Stella's name was Mrs under scored three times for emphasis.

"They are together ten years not so much as a kiss then she goes to New Orleans and is back less than a week before he marries her the mind boggles" Hawkes cheerily declared.

"Mac said he didn't want to take any chances not now his Stel was back where she belongs" Flack chortled "True love conquers all!"

"What about they who must not be named" Hawkes whispered since their new joint lab bosses had declared that those responsible for the Jobot incident never be mentioned in the lab again.

"Shush Sheldon" Flack warned tapping his nose "On the QT Mac told me he asked a couple of his marine buddies to take care of the ugly sisters and we should never see either of them ever again with any luck whatsoever at all."

"What about the Jobot though?" Hawkes whispered again.

"Dismantled permanently and sent to the NYPD evidence lock up just think of the final scene of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the lost Arc if you get my drift" Flack revealed.

"So she's gone for good too then? Thank heavens for that" Hawkes sighed in relief.

"Yep the sun is shinning, all the little birds are singing, there isn't a single out of order sign on any toilet in the building and the Lab is back to normal who could ask for more" Flack almost tangoed along the hallway in delight "Happy days are most definitely here again Sheldon."

"What do you suppose they are doing in there anyway" Hawkes pressed his ear against the door.

"Shame on you Sheldon I thought you had a medical degree" Flack guffered and joined him.

Muffled sounds of giggling, "Oh big Mac" and "Oh Stel" filtered through the door to the two listeners and something that definitely sounded like making out.

"I think we should come back later" Hawkes pulled away from the door.

"Me too I think they deserve it" Flack agreed "I only hope she doesn't go on maternity leave anytime soon though."

"Don't even think about it Don" Hawked shuddered as the two men strolled away.

**The End.**

**Well I hope that has brought a smile to somebody's face to all my fellow Smacked fic writer's keep the good work up Stella Bonasera first last and always Jo/Aubrey/Peyton never!**


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